anxious

Fear of finishing

Have just identified in self a fear of finishing drafts. While they're unfinished, they are potentially good. When they are done, they must be judged and fixed and rewritten. Exception: stories I don't take entirely seriously. I feel considerably less emotional stake in their success, so I can finish them & let them fail or not without worrying.

Hence, story-hopping among the ones I feel ambitious about, carefully preventing myself from finishing any of them, coexisting with the casual ability to finish other stories.

This is no good. Must be stamped out. Am starting to feel desperate desire to finish the Holmes story, so I can read it. Obstacles to finishing it must be viciously eliminated.

Okay, that bit about "so I can read it" might be inexplicable, but do you ever do that? Let your stories sit for a while and fade from short-term memory (I so nearly wrote "fall out of cache" there), and then read them and get a little bit of the charge you'd get from reading somebody else's story? A big chunk of the reason I write is so I can have more of the kind of stories I want to read.

Also: just wasted an hour on metafandom and I will not be doing that again. What a lot of talk about meta crap. I know, I know, we're social apes and we are endlessly fascinated with groups and in-ness and out-ness and subtle rules. But this is a waste of time for me. I'm interested in two things: Rupert Giles, and writing craft. Three things: Giles, writing craft, and Sherlock Holmes. And HP. Amongst my interests are such diverse elements as...

No, screw it. Giles & craft. The rest only as it relates to those two.
  • Current Music: Armin van Buuren : Serenity (Featuring Jan Vayne) : Shivers
Tags:
I want you to finish the Holmes story so *I* can read it. *is shameless*
Okay. I will now commit: draft of Holmes story finished this weekend and off to beta. As a first draft, no week-of-fidgeting-before-anyone-sees-it allowed. Deadline!

Also, must find nice Holmes icon. Perhaps beg skilled icon maker people to make me a Giles near Holmes manipulation. Though strangely, this story ended up being more about Giles and Watson than anything else. Shut up! Shut up! Save all story-telling energy for story itself...
Yay! Committment!

Save all story-telling energy for story itself...

I shall forbear, then, from nattering at you about why I think it makes a lot of sense that Giles and Watson would bond more than Giles and Holmes?
Let us natter cheerfully after the story is finished. It was one of the insights the story-writing process brought me, that those two reflect each other.
You know you must finish the novel length bond story as I have a somewhat vested interest in it. And I would really love to see the Holmes story too.
I will finish that too. That's another story that means a lot to me.

I think it's gonna go: Holmes, something frivolous I invent as a break, claim bond, N-LBS.