Antenna (antennapedia) wrote,

  • Music:

In which I sign up to do something difficult and then panic.

I signed up to do the Fight Gone Bad 5 charity workout later this month. It's a fundraiser for the Livestrong Foundation as well as a charity that helps soldiers coming back from our little foreign wars sans limbs. I will not link to my donation page here or anything like that. (Mr Pedia has pledged a dollar per point I score, so I should cover my fundraising goals right there. If I perform up to snuff!) What I want to talk about this morning is how nervous I am about this.

Here's a video explanation of the workout. As with all the Crossfit stuff, both women and men are shown doing the exercises, so you get a view of your preferred sort of muscled abs. For more ordinary-looking slobs doing it, try this vid. There's no helping the music choices, I'm afraid. Here, this one has Devo. More body variety here. There. That's more than enough video of people grimacing and sweating.

Really briefly: 5 exercises, done for a minute each, in 3 rounds. 1 minute of rest between rounds. The entire thing lasts, therefore, 17 minutes. The exercises, as specced for women, are rowing, 20" box jump, 55# push press, 55# sumo deadlift high pull, wall balls with a 14# ball hitting a 10' target. They can be done in any order. You score 1 point per rep performed with full range of motion, and 1 point per calorie of energy expended rowing.

The reason I like Fight Gone Bad as a workout is that I can do all five exercises as officially specced for women. No scaling down needed. I fear it because I did one practice round the other day and learned just exactly how hard this hits your cardio system. Wall balls in particular are brutal. You're probably looking at the barbell exercises and fearing them; I'm fearing that medicine ball.

Really fearing it.

The other day I did two minutes of specced wall balls and by the end my arms were so dead that the ball hit me in the face on my last catch. Mind you, it's huge and soft and squishy so it doesn't bounce, but it was also 14 pounds. Falling from a height of ten feet. Thwump. Right in the face.

I am going to get to the gym (one I don't belong to, where I don't know anybody) and I am going to do one round and I am going to wuss out before reaching the second. Or score no points. Or never hit the 10-foot wall ball target. Or blow myself out sprint-rowing like an idiot and fail to do whatever comes next. Or puke into a bucket. I am going to be the least fit person there! The fattest! The least likely to be featured in a Crossfit youtube video! I will feel bad!

And then the medicine ball will hit me in the face.

But catastrophizing aside, I'll probably show up, sweat a lot, breathe hard, score somewhere in the bottom of the pack, but complete the workout. And that itself should be a triumph for me. Two years ago I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without getting out of breath. Now I'm doing this. As projects go, I'm rating this one as one of the more successful ones I've done in my life. Even if, get this, I still cannot do a single military pushup.
Tags: life explosion, whinging

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