Dear kitten

I recognize that by reclining on my chest, purring ecstatically, and kneading my face you are expressing your affection for me. Or at least, your appreciation for my regular display of can-opening skills, which is the same thing in the end. I further recognize that by your standards you're hardly using any claw at all. And I also recognize that when you lick the end of my nose with your raspy tongue you are attempting to express your gratitude for the cream I gave you this morning. Assuming your memory goes back that far.

And yet. Ow. You're perforating my chin.
  • Current Music: Talking Heads : Animals : Fear Of Music
Ah, cats. Turtle loves to stand on me with her pointy little paws jabbing me in the ribs. Lately, she's taken to hopping in my chair the instant I vacate it (because it's warm, I suppose?) and refusing to move until I either physically eject her or sit on her.
Stupid Ape Evaluation Checklist

[] opens cans regularly
[] pours cream regularly
[] warms chairs
[] provides catnip
[] does not complain when household objects are destroyed for entertainment

Actually, I do complain about the last one, but Turtle just looks at me and keeps right on doing it...
She's doing it again! Right this second! The only problem is that this time she has catfood breath. Ewwwwwww!
Try having kitty bite your nose with cat food breath. That's what Tinker does to get my attention. If I move my head to avoid him, he stops me with a paw on my mouth. Then he bites my nose.