books & tea

Oh noes! seven more trivial things

misswitch re-tagged me, so I will cheerfully do the seven-random-things meme again, but decline to tag anybody on the second go-round. List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
  1. Today I smell like Habu: Snake Oil with ho wood, teak, black musk, and bamboo. The other day I smelled like Thirteen, July 2007 edition, and my husband asked me to wash it off because it turned to gasoline. Then I smelled like Loviatar, and I had to wash that off too. Burned leather is not fun. Bad scent day.

  2. Mr Pedia and I had early bonding over Stanley G. Weinbaum's "A Martian Odyssey" and the Larry Niven "Known Space" stories. We are vvvvvriends! Ouch!

  3. I want to go bungee-jumping some day. And skydiving. This because I am afraid of heights and get vertigo badly. I love rollercoasters. Love them. Motorcycling is more fun, though, because I'm in control.

  4. Yesterday for lunch I had a bagel with jalapeño cream cheese on it. There were chunks of fresh jalapeño on it. Yum. We sometimes get habanero salsa. Yum. Spice expands consciousness.

  5. My personal kinks are more on display in "Tradition & Protocol" than in "Blackmail". But even so, not really.

  6. I am continually weirded out by the thought that when my mother was my age, I had moved across the country to go to grad school. And had been there for three years.

  7. It still breaks my heart to think that it's extremely unlikely Mr P & I will have kids. I know it's my decision; if I were brave enough, we would try again. Because he'll do whatever I want. But alas, my courage fails me.

  8. Thusia-verse story sent to Glim for a beta-read sanity-check. The weekend plan is to alternate between Reconnection 3 & "Untitled G/E Broken Vessel Story which probably is going to be titled 'Broken Vessel' so why do I bother".

    NB: I'm not docking theblackmare for her prompt on yesterday's PIF post, 'cause it ain't fair to prompt me to write what I shall surely write anyway. So there is one request going begging still.

    Random link: Asking the Wrong Questions essays upon Dr Who: "Everybody dies!" Interesting. Rather savage about the abilities of the core Who writing staff.

    In closing I point you to wesleysgirl's Jossverse fic recs meme list, because I love writing recommendations and reading them. It's interesting as well to see that some people's view of Buffy fandom is quite different from mine. E.g., my tolerance for stories without Giles is quite limited, but lots of people never give him a thought. Am writing up my list of five stories with Giles in, but am having troubles reducing the list.
  • Current Music: Slow Drift : Darshan Ambient : re:Karma
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Oh Christ, I'm not claiming any fic, any you write will do for me. Just wanted to be first! heehee
(Blackmail'verse is always nice.)
Whoops! Sorry about that. I missed that you'd already done this. I was trying to tag people who hadn't done it. You're a good sport for doing it again.
Re your # 7. I don't know how many other couples with kids or intending to have kids you know among your friends or family. But, I'm thinking, surely you could offer to be godparents or something to those who are the closest to you. You could have a real relationship with kids, even if they're not born/living under your roof.

Sympathetic hugs,
H.
Oddly, we're somewhat unusual among our friends in doing this. Most of them, if they were going to do it, had kids a decade ago.
RE: #7
Never think you are lacking courage in not trying again. Sometimes I think I am insane for the amount of time and energy I have put into trying to produce a baby. It is a heartbreaking process for everyone, whether you try once and decide to not pursue another course or go on and on after every negative result. Note I didn't use the word quit, fail or give up. Everyone has limits and you know yours. By my age, my grandmother had her first grandchild and my mom had a sixteen year old. Sometimes that creeps me out. I would be happy with a toddler, but I don't think that's happening, so I plan to do other things. Learn to write, finish my degree, travel and enjoy my husband. He will do what ever I want to do also, so I am left with the fertility decisions, which is really hard, since I am goal driven and obsessive. It helps me to remember that I'm not alone and I did nothing to cause the issue. Also, there are worse things that could happen to me. It's not much consolation, but sometimes it gets me through the day.
Re: #7
He will do what ever I want to do also, so I am left with the fertility decisions, which is really hard, since I am goal driven and obsessive.

Oh, do I hear you on that one. It would help to get some input, though I do keenly appreciate his consideration. And yes, there are worse things to happen. I've had a very nice life, and have succeeded at most of the things I've set my mind to. Not getting my wish in this one area is something I should be able to cope with.

Can be hard to explain to people why I have to grit my teeth about some things. "Come on up and meet your niece!" my brother-in-law says, completely unaware of the thing I cannot forget, that said niece is a month younger than my twin boys would have been. Utterly clueless, and I do not wish to clue him in, because it's my deal, not his. Not even my husband's deal.

Up side: I sure wouldn't be writing fanfic now if that hadn't happened. Life is unpredictable. A million odd chances produced our lives as they are this moment, and they could so easily have gone many other ways.
Re: #7
My husband did put his foot down after our last attempt. The effect the twice daily injections had on me got to him. I hate needles and was giving blood every other day and taking 4 injections a day and acupuncture twice a week. I was a walking pin cushion.

It really doesn't matter how fortunate I am in my life, I'm greedy and I want a child. Family stuff is really hard, you want to be happy for them, and I am, but I am sad for me. I have a niece that is 6 mos younger than my first baby would have been. She's four now and it is still difficult.

I know my willingness to share my experiences has helped other people, and a few of those people have gone on to have babies. Sometimes I like to think that by going through all of these treatments and doing research, I made those women's journeys a little easier.

I am personally thrilled that you chose fanfic as an outlet. I truly enjoy your stories and they usually make me think, which I appreciate.